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|Yes, we are all Americans
I sit alone here in my office between my dictionary and my handbook "A BASEBALL-STAR IN 30 MINUTES" and I write to you this editorial. First secretary Mrs. Staniewski is just painting 16 more stars on the Starspangled Banner in our kitchen and the sofa-cushions (painting, because I didn't know the English word for "etwas aufsticken" when I gave the orders; but there is no difference to see for the human eye, I swear to you!) and my other people are all in English-courses or at McDonald, to meet some friends and get fat.
First there was this big shock, you know, when we were sitting in front of our TV and saw the terrible, unbelievable pictures again and again (TV is getting mad: summer holidays are over and nevertheless there are these boring repetitions continually!) - the disgusting pictures of Mr. Gerhard Schröder and Mr. Peter Struck from the SPD who told us, that we are all Americans now… Oops, my gun fell from the table, but nothing happened (nothing that some of my good $$$ could not make forgotten).
Some time passed - we were very confused this day, because many new Bunte, MAX and Stern were at the
kiosk although it was not Thursday - but then we saw the bright side of the things: Our new President
Mr. Bush recently spoke from "attacking the states" who support the fucking terrorists - and, as you
remember, our best universities (TU Hamburg) have educated some of them! Even if the last weeks have
shown that the FBI and the CIA probably would have great problems to find Hamburg for the American
Marschflugkörpers (sorry, it's not in my Langenscheids Großes Schulwörterbuch), it still may be better
to be American during this time!!! (By the way, the university of Bochum will not have its fine place
in the big Focus university-ranking next year as well…)
So, and now it is time for everyone to get up and do what he can do for his (new) nation. Some have to exercise our new national anthem (the TITANIC-editors), some have to bomb a few countries (the government) and some have to write letters to the pettifogging lawyers, who sue us yesterday for the sinking of the Titanic in 1912 (me).
God bless you,